It's a little silly how proud I am of myself...

...but I'm sharing here anyway.

C is away at an all-day metalfest and his band is playing tonight. The show is so far away that he is spending the night there with friends.

I am super-supportive of his band and this show is all well and good but for one thing - he is missing a dose of Menopur tonight and a Bravelle tomorrow.

Let me rewind for a second to explain my needle issues. I am not needle-phobic necessarily because I have no problem with getting shots and I'm even pretty OK with the pain part. I am an IFer after all, which means that I have been having blood drawn and injections and triggers at least 1-3 times per week for the past two years. I am, however, supremely grossed out by needles. I can't explain it, there is just something about objects that are half-in and half-out that gross me out. I could watch an operation no problem. Blood, guts, gore... Fine. But a splinter, needle, IV or other stabbed object makes me very uncomfortable. When I get my blood drawn or when C gives me my daily injects, I just don't look.

Tonight, I had to give myself a shot of Menopur. I hyped myself up in the car in the way home tonight and kept telling myself that it was no big deal and that I could do it. Once I had mixed the needles, I did get some sweaty palms and a little nervous. I did have to stare at the disinfected area and reprep my little Band-Aid spot twice. But finally I got up the nerve and did it. And now I am seriously impressed with myself.

I'll never do an IM shot; that's just too yucky and scary, but at least I now know that I can do this myself and that I don't have to rely on someone else all the time. Tomorrow I'm giving myself another Bravelle, but then it's back to C doing injects tomorrow night.

Regardless, I did it! I'm reminded of the little victory everytime my little-girl-whom-I-babysit uses the potty and I feel like saying to myself, "High five!"