PUPO

On the infertility boards, PUPO stands for "pregnant until proven otherwise."  Once you have had your IUI or your IVF embryo transfer, all of the conditions are there for a pregnancy.  Until we see that BFN stick, we like to think that we are PUPO.

This morning, the IUI went perfectly.  Unfortunately, that doesn't provide too much relief because they have always gone perfectly and the RE has always made a point to say so.  Aside from a painfully long wait at the outrageously busy RE's office, everything went well.  C and I both had to have blood draws this time, another form of monitoring that is unique to the study and is not done in regular clinical practice.  That's two vials for C and twenty-six vials of blood for me in the past fourteen days for anyone who is counting.

Luckily, the post-IUI cramping wasn't as bad this month as it has been in the past.  I was slightly uncomfortable during and immediately after the procedure, but while we were getting lunch afterwards, it really started hurting.  I went home afterwards and relaxed for a while which really helped and the cramps are almost 100% gone at this point.  Uncomfortable as it was, it was nothing like the afternoon when I was doubled over in the parking lot of Walmart and had to run back to the car just to sit down and breathe...

According to my charts, I have one more ultrasound in a week, which is new to me, and then a beta blood draw in two weeks.  It sounds to me like I will have a week free from monitoring!

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As I have mentioned before, infertility often becomes all about counting and milestones.  You cannot help but count how many cycles it has been, how many days since ovulation, how many years of TTC...  It's a massive numbers game.  This month's numbers are a perfect example.

This month marks exactly two-and-a-half years of TTC.  It also marks exactly one year of being under the care of an RE.  I can deal with these anniversaries, though.  They have come and gone many times before - one year of TTC, two years of TTC, our last insured IUI cycle, etc.

There is something else that is a little bit sticky about this month's numbers.  If this cycle is successful, our due date would be approximate June 14.  That is exactly the end of the school year for teachers, including professional development and meeting days.  I could miss no time from work, never miss a paycheck and spend ten weeks at home with the baby before even having to think about babysitters and daycare.  The disability/maternity coverage at my work only covers six weeks at home and 60% of your pay.  This month would be so ideal if I could bypass leave and disability altogether...

I am trying not to get pulled into this numbers game again this cycle.  It only makes for painful disappointment and regret, but it's pretty much inevitable.  I had always hoped for a Christmas baby in 2009, a June baby in 2010, a summer baby in 2011, now can June 2012 please be my chance?!