BFN

Well, it's all over for this cycle.  This was our fifth medicated cycle and fourth IUI. 

Usually, my cycles are like clockwork, but I started getting early spotting this cycle.  I held out hope that the early and very light spotting may have been implantation bleeding, but I tested this morning (13dpIUI) and it was stark white - BFN.

I feel exasperated and tired, defeated and lonely.

I made reference in the past to discussing the costs of IVF, and I guess now is as good a time as any since it seems like we're getting very close to the end of the IUI road. 

There are only fifteen states in the US that require insurance companies to offer fertility coverage and unfortunately, Pennsylvania is not one of them.  Therefore, we will have to for all expenses out of pocket.   Generally, clinics offer packages of IVF cycles, both fresh and frozen, but these prices do not include the cost of medications. 

If we were to continue at Penn, where we have had all of our testing and IUIs, we would have a few options.  A single cycle of fresh IVF without the cost of meds, it is around $11,000.  Ideally, however, we would purchase a package of two fresh cycles and two frozen to increase our odds of success.  This package is about $22,000.  Another downside at Penn is that they may enforce a BMI requirement to even begin the process.  While I have been working hard and exercising like crazy lately, it would be nice not to have a number looming over my head before we begin.

I did quite a bit of shopping around to find a better price and I found Sher Institutes for Reproductive Medicine with offices in North Jersey and a new office opening in Bethlehem.  At SIRM, we can purchase two fresh cycles and unlimited FETs for just over $15,000.  In this package, SIRM will perform a fresh cycle and if it is not successful, they will do unlimited FETs until your supply of frozen embryos is exhausted, however, you are required to use all of the frozen embryos before they will allow you to move on to a second fresh cycle.  Aside from the savings, SIRM also does not have a BMI requirement. 

It is impossible to know how much the medications will cost until the consultation, the prescribing and ordering them from a distributor.  There are so many protocols for IVF, we cannot know which medications we will be prescribed.  According to SIRM, IVF meds usually run from $2500 to $9000.  We hope that we would be on the lower end of this range given our age and our lack of a diagnosis, but there is no way to know until we are committed to the cycle. 

Overall, we can expect to spend about $20,000 for IVF and that is an absolute impossibility for us.  We would have to rely on help from our family, and this is also problematic.  While my mom and my aunt are more than happy to help us, I am struggling with the emotional toll that might take on us, especially if the IVF package is not successful. 

The weight of all this information and all of these choices is really affecting me today.  I really hoped that IUIs would be answer for us, but it is looking more like it will not.  I have many hesitations about both IVF and adoption and I feel so stuck.