This Strange Cycle Continues...

Yesterday morning, I had my one-week-post IUI ultrasound and found some strange results. They were again unable to visualize my left ovary, so I have no idea what is going on with the two smaller follicles over there, but the right had some fun twists and turns in store.

Originally, I had three follicles in the right ovary, one smaller one and two large ones that qualified last week as large enough to trigger. Yesterday, however, the ultrasound showed that one of the big ones is still in the right ovary, despite triggering over a week ago. It is now measuring at 29mm. The smaller follicle is also still in there. WTF?

This whole cycle has been terrifying because I have known that this will most likely be the end of affordable treatment options and that C and I will soon have to make some really tough choices about what to do next. Part of me is finding comfort in how wacky this cycle has been, though. Up to this point, every cycle has been almost identical, down to the number and size of follicles and cycle days. Obviously, a CD14 trigger with 1-2 follicles has been unsuccessful, so I can't help but wonder if it will all be different with five slow-burning follicles that don't seem to respond to trigger.

Still terrifying, however, is that it is more than likely that more than half of my follicles (two for sure) missed the IUI. If these late-bloomer follicles are to be fertilized, it will have to be the old fashioned way.  Adding to the heap of anxiety is that C isn't feeling well and is not exactly up to repeated TI all week just to alleviate my anxiety. 

I got the phone call today from the research coordinator that my beta draw has been scheduled for Sunday, March 4 and that I will also be having my exit interview from the study that day. 

~ ~ ~

For some reason, I am rationally and intellectually stressed about all of this, but my emotions have been pretty calm.  We are literally days away from my co-teacher delivering her second child and leaving me with a very green longterm sub.  I also had a friend from work come through the school last week with her six-week-old twin girls and I held one of them for nearly a half-hour.  I know that as soon as my co-teacher's departure really sinks in, I will be more emotionally affected by it, but again, I am fighting my optimism fueled by this crazy cycle.  Or maybe I am just too afraid to face what comes next...