2011

Tomorrow is the last day of 2011 and I have to say, it has been one of my worst years on record.  This year has been boring, stagnant and all-around crappy. 

Obviously, I am very grateful for the many things that I do have, and I am just coming off of a wonderful Christmas with my family.  But the overall "life trajectory" of 2011 was pretty lame.

This year was difficult financially pretty much every month.  Even though I made more money on paper than ever before, we had a hard time making the bills time after time.  Work has been somewhat slow at C's job and I am sure that didn't help.  I also had several tutoring gigs that used to really help that have since dried up. 

Over the summer, I taught summer school which was actually quite miserable.  I had the kids for long chunks of time teaching core subjects.  This experience made me realize how important it is to me to teach science part of the day during the regular school year.  C and I also had grand plans for the roughly $2000 that I was supposed to bring home from the job and none of it panned out.  When I left summer school in the afternoons, and for the rest of the summer when the session completed, I basically hung out at home.  The summer basically consisted of naps, cleaning and watching TV because we couldn't afford to do anything else.

This school year has started off as the absolute best academically and professionally, but there have been some social and interpersonal pitfalls that have really overshadowed the successes.  All of these situations so far have been frustratingly out of my control.  And the end of last school year was definitely one for the record books under the category "suck."  There was cattiness among the staff and I was hauled into the office twice for stupid crap that is only now disappearing from my evaluation. 

And, as a result of my Irish Catholic background, I feel like a guilty shithead for complaining.  In reality, it's a good thing because it causes me to reflect everyday on how fortunate I am, but it sure makes wallowing in your own misery no fun at all. 

No matter what happens -- baby or not, pay raise or not, vacation or not -- my life is pretty awesome.  I am married to my soulmate of almost 12 years and we are ridiculously happy 98% of the time.  Even our fights are pretty happy.  I have the two best dogs and best cats ever and they bring me joy every day.  My family is the best in the world - absolutely hands down.  We live in an adorable little old house in the best town on Earth outside the world's greatest city.  Despite our perceived money problems, we always make it work and we get to live an amazing life.  Maybe it's not as exciting as most of the people around me, but I am grateful for every minute.

I also can't really complain about my job, though, believe me, I am surrounded by people who do little else.  I am in a somewhat unique position at my school of having worked in several locations before ending up there.  Let me tell you, it is the best gig so far.  Many of my coworkers don't realize what other jobs are like out there.  Every day, I wake up and go to a job that I love.  That's why I stay.  The vast majority of my coworkers are awesome and I can honestly say that I am friendly with almost every one of them.  I am well-liked by both faculty and students and I feel like this year has been a breakout year for me professionally.  Over the past three years, I have lovingly crafted the science curriculum and I get to teach it every day, and it has only grown and gotten better over the years.  And, most importantly, the kids are awesome.  Even when they are being ornery, they are stinkin' cute little mini-teens.

I am already working on making 2012 a better year for us in every way possible.  I have worked hard to make IVF possible in 2012 if we need it.  I have also changed my routine and my life in little ways to make it healthier.  I have joined a local gym, restarted my Zumba classes and am trying to start cooking at home more.  I am also starting a five-year journal because I can just feel it in my heart that the next five years are going to be worth writing about. 

If 2011 was the worst year of my life, then I am doing pretty well because it wasn't all that bad.  I have been thinking a lot about a quote lately from an interview I heard with film director Kevin Smith, so I'll end this entry (and this year) with it:

"It's almost stupid how good this life is."

By hook or by crook, 2012 is going to be better.  So here's to hoping the world doesn't end...  :-)