G.T.T.

Gym.  Tan.  Try to get KTFU.

In the interest of full disclosure, yes, I did just make a lame Jersey Shore joke and, no, I physically cannot tan.  At all.  Ever.

But the point is that even though I am not actively in treatment right now due to a forced break, my current fertility-improvement-strategy, if you will, has been weight loss.  I have never had any real successful weight loss in my whole life and I have never shown this much dedication for this long, so I am actually kind of proud of myself. 

So far, in about a month, I have lost about six pounds.  What really impresses me, however, is my total dedication to what used to be my vision of a personal hell - exercise.  I have been going to the gym five days per week and Zumba twice a week.  If I can't make it to Zumba, I make up for it with gym time or treadmill time at home.  One day, when I was feeling particularly shitty about what I had eaten, I even went to the gym earlier in the afternoon, then went to Zumba!  Who am I and what have I done with MB?!

Aside from this bizarre new person taking over my body who packs a gym bag every morning and kills it at the gym even if her buddies can't go, I have also been tracking every calorie in a new smart phone app called MyFitnessPal.  Several friends and family members are on it, so we really keep each other motivated.  I have been making healthier food choices because I have to record everything I eat into the app.  I have even been packing my own breakfasts for work, including healthy snacks like granola bars and natural applesauce. 

OK, enough with me congratulating myself...  Let's talk treatment.  Frankly, I have forgotten what day of my cycle it is because I have really tried to mentally detach during this break.  When a new cycle begins, however, the study coordinator wants me to come in on CD2 for my last-ditch-effort IUI #9, the last in the research study.  She is hoping that they will get a better read on my hormone levels and hopefully avoid cancelling by catching me early. 

I don't really see how this is helpful, but I'll give it a shot.  If the point of cancelling a cycle with elevated estradiol is safety, risk, et cetera, why fudge the numbers by testing me on CD2 just so that I am more likely to pass?  Also, there is very little chance, knowing my body chemistry, that I would have had elevated levels on CD3 anyway because that has never happened before.  In the past, we have never had a forced break last for more than a month.  Any time when we went longer than a month, it was for personal reasons, not hormonal. 

Nevertheless, I will go in on CD2 this time hoping that the RE and study coordinator's "hunch" will be worthwhile.  If not, I am trying to keep positive and hope for a summer IVF...